Traditional anniversary gifts by year, and what to commission for each
The year-by-material list most people know was formalized in Emily Post's Etiquette in 1922, which set out materials for each of the first fifteen years and then every fifth year after. Paper at one, wood at five, tin at ten, crystal at fifteen, china at twenty, silver at twenty-five, gold at fifty. The custom itself is older, with roots in Central Europe and a Victorian habit of matching milestone anniversaries to materials.
Reviewed
The list is useful for exactly one reason: it turns "what do I get them" into a materials brief. And a materials brief is something you can hand to a maker.
The list, and what to have made
The traditional materials below follow the Emily Post Institute's classic anniversary gift list, which covers years 1 through 10 and then every fifth year through 60.
| Year | Traditional material | What to commission |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Paper | Letterpress print, bound book, framed map or score |
| 2 | Cotton | Woven throw, canvas piece, embroidered textile |
| 3 | Leather | Bound journal, valet tray, bag, strop, portfolio |
| 4 | Fruit or flowers | Turned fruit bowl, thrown vase, botanical print, pressed-flower art |
| 5 | Wood | Serving board, box, side table, bed, dining table |
| 6 | Iron | Forged candlesticks, fireplace tools, hardware, sculpture |
| 7 | Copper or wool | Hammered vessel, pendant light, copper cookware, wool blanket |
| 8 | Bronze | Cast sculpture, door hardware, small casting |
| 9 | Willow or pottery | Willow basket, thrown dinnerware set, vessel, planter |
| 10 | Tin or aluminum | Fabricated metal piece, lighting, wall work |
| 15 | Crystal | Blown or cut glass vessel, lighting, glass art panel |
| 20 | China | Commissioned dinnerware, serving set, porcelain vessel |
| 25 | Sterling silver | Hollowware, flatware, jewelry, engraved vessel |
| 30 | Pearl | Commissioned jewelry with pearl |
| 35 | Coral | Substitute: carved stone, enamel, glass in coral tones |
| 40 | Ruby | Commissioned jewelry |
| 45 | Sapphire | Commissioned jewelry |
| 50 | Gold | Gold jewelry, gilded object, engraved gold piece |
| 55 | Emerald | Commissioned jewelry |
| 60 | Diamond | Commissioned jewelry |
A note on year 35. Wild-harvested coral is restricted and ecologically indefensible. Treat it as a color, not a material.
Why the traditional list works for commissioning
Nearly every material on that list is a trade. Wood is a furniture maker or a turner. Copper, iron, bronze, tin, and silver are metalsmiths. Pottery and china are ceramicists. Crystal is a glass artist. Cotton and wool are textile artists. Willow is a basket maker. Leather is a leatherworker.
Which means the list is not just a gift prompt. It is a directory. "Fifteenth anniversary" translates directly into "commission a glass artist," and that is a much easier thing to act on than "something special."
The years that deserve a real commission
Not every year needs a commissioned object. These four are where it makes the most sense.
Year 5, wood. The most flexible year on the list. Wood scales from a small turned or carved object to a dining table, so it fits any budget.
Year 15, crystal. Blown and cut glass is dramatic, and glass artists are used to one-off commissions. A vessel, a set of glasses, a pendant light, or a panel.
Year 20, china. A commissioned dinnerware set is the sort of gift that gets used weekly for thirty years. Ceramicists work in sets routinely.
Year 25, silver. Hollowware and engraved silver is exactly what a silversmith does. It is also the point at which "we had this made for us" starts to sound like an heirloom rather than a purchase.
How far ahead to order
| Object | Lead time |
|---|---|
| Small turned or carved wood piece | 2 to 5 weeks |
| Leather goods | 3 to 8 weeks |
| Thrown ceramics, set | 6 to 12 weeks |
| Blown or cut glass | 6 to 14 weeks |
| Forged or fabricated metalwork | 4 to 12 weeks |
| Commissioned jewelry | 4 to 10 weeks |
| Furniture | 8 to 24 weeks |
| Textile art | 6 to 16 weeks |
Add engraving time on anything that gets engraved, and add buffer if the date is fixed.
What to tell the maker
- The anniversary and the date, so the deadline is unambiguous
- Names, dates, and any inscription, spelled exactly, approved
- Something specific about the couple: where they met, the house they are in, what they collect, what they cook
- Whether it should be used or displayed. This changes everything about the design
- Budget range, honestly
The detail in the third bullet is what separates a commissioned gift from a bought one. A maker given a fact to work with will use it.
Sources
- Emily Post Institute, Classic Etiquette: Anniversary Gifts by Year
- Emily Post, Etiquette: In Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home (1922), which lists eight anniversaries in its chapter on the wedding day: paper at 1 year, wood at 5, tin at 10, crystal at 15, china at 20, silver at 25, gold at 50, and diamond at 75. The Emily Post Institute credits a 1937 jewelers' association with filling out most of the rest of the list.
